Jon Plus 8 - Beat it, Kate

So the world watched with great anticipation as "Jon and Kate plus 8" premiered their new season last night on TLC. I haven't seen the new episode yet but man, am I tired of these two. For the unwashed, it's a reality/documentary about a family comprised of a husband, wife, a set of twins and a set of sextuplets.

I won't go into the tabloid stories, the rumors, etc., but I am left with one overall thought on the show: this woman, "Kate", would drive me insane. She's the perfect combination of martyr and shrew. Jon just seems like a guy who wants to be a dad and take care of his kids, and he seems completely beat down by this attention-loving wench.

Let me be clear about this: the only people I feel remotely bad for are the kids. Their chances of having normal lives have plummeted to somewhere just north of zero.

So I'll settle the issue for everyone. I'll grant the two an instant divorce and give the kids to Jon, not because I'm a father myself or because I'm a man, but I think he presents the only chance these kids have of experiencing something approaching a normal childhood. Kate gets custody of the TV show, the book deal, and the impending made-for-Lifetime movie. Oh, and she is legally barred from that awful reverse-mullet haircut she wears.

Honestly, someone needs to just slap these two around, lock them in a room and not let either of them out until it's all resolved or one of them dies of "natural causes". I've wondered if all this crap hasn't been manufactured to promote the show, maybe it has. I hope it has.

Redskins ruminations

The QB for the Redskins, Jason Campbell, is in a contract year. And the Redskins tried REALLY hard to replace him before the draft.

So, you're reading it here first.

The starting QB for your 2010 Washington Redskins: Michael Vick.

He'd be inexpensive. He's a glamour name. He'd sell a boatload of jerseys. He doesn't need an offensive line (and he won't have one). And he'll go 7-9 or 9-7. It's a perfect fit.

Remember, I called it.